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Chat about a loaded theme that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Amusing thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from the beginning of the world. Affairs can be fraught with troubles, cause sorrow, and other troubles. Also you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty matter, finances, age dissimilarity, faith background, guilt, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.

For the intention of this post I should define an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating wives.

Why do married people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seek an extramarital affair. I am sure typically though it is only the human state, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several explanations I have run across.

Biologically we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us flee the real world for a brief period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people can turn the desire on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos humanity has erected against affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will beat their worries and make them risk the rage of not only their relatives, but the public too. So why, what is the mechanism?

Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is terribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your spouse or anybody else? You will need to minimize the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.

No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the biggest cluster, gigantic really. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they feel comfy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the children to think about. Your assets are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.

Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair sometimes solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage undamaged.

Neglect, sadly this is a frequent cause I fear. One or the other, usually the man is sexually neglecting his female for a multitude of reasons. As a man I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them available to us guys of romance, making them “milf wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.

Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe compassion is disappeared, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have just developed separately, our relulas interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposite of what you want. Could be I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.

The ultimate reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.

There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for economic gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.